“When you meet someone better than yourself, turn your thoughts to becoming his equal. When you meet someone not as good as you are, look within and examine your own self.”- Analects of Confucius
Comparison is about finding similarities and differences between one’s own self and others or between other people and another person. God created all of us unique. Yes we have similarities with other people but we are unique in the sense that no one in this world is as precise and the same as our self. There will only be one Kristoffer Lorenz Basbaño in this world. In comparing one’s self to another, there will always be differences be it slight or great. We have similarities with other people and we also have differences with them. Our personality, character, skills and talents make us who we are. We cannot deny the fact that there are areas that we are good and expert at while there areas that we are not that good. All of us have our own forte. It is where we are good at.

We humans have the tendency to compare our self to others. The effect of comparing our self to others can either be positive and negative. In comparing our self to those who are better than us (in any field or personhood in general), the effect of comparison is positive if we dream to reach what the other person reached (successful people in any field) or dream of being better than  them and put these dreams of ours into actions. The good side of comparison is that it makes us courageous towards our dreams. It can even push us to our limits for us to reach our dreams. Look at the successful people. For sure, they started from comparing their self to those successful people and dreamt of becoming like them. They did not remain in dreaming. They actualized their dream by striving hard to achieve them, passing all the hardships they experienced and standing again every time they fall. On the other hand, the effects of comparing our self to others can also be negative. Given the situation that there are times that we idolized someone for being expert in their field and that expertise of them made us stop from achieving what they want that is to be expert in the same field. It is maybe because of the big difference we can see in comparing our self to those who are expert than us. Of course there will be a lot of difference in comparing our self to those who are experts in a particular field. They are already experts and they have more experiences. In order not to encounter this, we must not compare our self to others especially those who are better. As a suggestion, we must compare our self to our previous self. In this way, we will just strive to be better and better (self or in our fields of interest), or to be a progressive person.

To compare our self to others is our natural tendency as humans. Its effects can either be positive or negative depending if we take the effects of comparison as an inspiration and courage for us or opposite. There are also times that we compare our self to those not good as our self.  Confucius suggested to look within and examine our self. If we follow him, maybe we will realize that we came from not being good to so great and we can also realize that we are better than others but there are also others who are better than us. In my analysis, whatever we reach in life, we must remain humble however great we are. We must always consider the fact that if we are better than others in our field, there are those who are better than us. Others whom not as good as our self (in our own field) can be great compared to us in their own field/s of interest. Relating this to our totality as a person, we have character/attitudes that are better than the others while others have character/attitudes better than us. The point is that we must remain humble wherever we are in our field and however great we are.

The effect of comparison can either be positive and negative. Its effect is positive if it encourages us to improve and become better while its effect is negative if it stops as to persevere and become better. As my suggestion, we must not compare our self to other persons instead we must compare our self to our previous self. In that way, we will be encouraged to strive and become better and better far from our old self. If we become better than our old self and become expert in our own fields of interest, we must always remain humble. Humility is important for us in order for us to go down to the level of other people not as good as our self. We must also remember that we came from “not so good” to becoming “great.”

A task of being a leader is never easy. It is indeed a very serious thing. It really needs hardwork, dedication, and most of all, patience. Part of being a leader is to become a great example to your group. That’s why you must be a beautiful portrait of a hardworking person. Hardwork could do a lot of things in terms of leadership. If a leader is considered to be as a hardworking person, he/she could do a lot of things that can be a great help to improve his community or group, because hardwork serves as a tool for a leader to make all of his plans possible. It is no possible for a man to fulfill his dreams if he is really going to work on it. Of course, hardwork must be partnered with dedication. The dedication of the leader pushes him/her to achieve his/her goals in life. Eventhough how hard the ways may be. The most challenging part of being a leader is how long you can control your temper when there is bad thing happened along the way or when your plans were not fulfilled according to what you want them to happen supposedly. To be a leader is a task that takes a great challenge for everyone

            As a simple guy and a student, who is not so intelligent, not so creative, and don’t have the guts to become a leader, I was so shocked and was so hyper in disagreeing, doing all the possibilities in making many alibis just to oppose the decision of the council, when they elected me to become the new “Lex” of the college department. I said to them that they were wrong in choosing the right person to become the leader. I also told them that I’m not fitting on the position that they are giving and want me to have. I really tried my best in arguing their decision, but unfortunately I ended up unsuccessful. So by the virtue of no choice and my belief that everything has a purpose, because it is God’s plan, I humbly accepted the responsibilityenventhough I don’t really have the confidence about it.

Now, being the Lex of our department, it draws me so many realization and reflections. It is good to be a leader, because all of your orders are being followed, you are respected, and you are almost privilege in all things- you can do whatever you want, because you are not criticize by the others because they believe that all that you are doing is good. But my realization is: “it is not something that I should abuse.” It doesn’t mean that since I’m already the leader, all I have to do is just to command my members. No, my being a leader is not an exemption for me not to do the tasks of my brothers in the community. It doesn’t mean that since I’m already the leader, I’m free to say whatever I want to say against my brother-being insensitive. No, my being a leader is not an exemption for me not to pay respect to my brothers as what Confucius said, “To respect my elder brother as I would like my younger brother respect me.” “Do not do to others what you would not like others to do to you”is one of the aspects that every leader should always bear in their minds in order for them to become truly good leaders. The other important thing that I learned was: being a leader, you must not be afflicted when your members are not acknowledging your works; be afflicted if you know what’s good for your group but you didn’t take any actions to pursue that good. To be a leader is not the way of making one’s self famous. It is the way of giving our service to our brothers and sisters. Fame will just simply follow. It is only a product of the good services that you make to the community. I also realized that: to be a leader you don’t have to be self-righteous most of the time, because often times your members also need a leader who has the heart and very willing to listen to them, whenever they have problems. To be a leader is not just commanding your members, but it is also an opportunity to help others in their difficult moments. To be a leader it doesn’t mean “paalam-alamgid ah” but it is more about rectification of your being a leader- “To do what right because it is right.”

Reading the analects of Confucius, somehow, helped me a lot to have these kinds of realizations and reflections that I have made for myself. It reminded me of the things that I should bear in mind in order for me to become a good person, especially as a leader my community. 

Respect yourself and others will respect you.-Confucius” This is a very good statement. It emphasizes the importance of the so called respect to an individual’s life. Respect starts with respect for self. A person who respects themselves is confident and has a positive attitude. When you feel good about yourself, it will in turn affect the way you treat other people. The above statement of Confucius means that when we learn to respect ourselves truly we will not do anything that shall embarrass and put us to shame. This ensures us that we will do good to ourselves and to others. We have to carry ourselves with respect so that others will respect us. Speaking of respect, it is simply about valuing or loving ourselves of who really we are. And having respect means, we treat ourselves, others, and even our environment with kindness and consideration. This means, we take good care of ourselves, and being aware of how our actions affect others. If we do not respect ourselves and others, no one will respect us. If we do not treat others like what we want to be treated, they will not treat us well. When we refuse to let others disrespect us that is a positive proof that we respect ourselves. We are only treated how we allow others to treat us.

Respect yourself. Respect for yourself. Respect for others. Respect is really a powerful tool. It is very important first that we must show respect to ourselves. We have to love and give value to ourselves. In the very first place, we cannot respect others if we cannot respect ourselves. Self-respect is not about what we do, but who we are. It is about feeling valued. It is about loving ourselves for ourselves. Respect for ourselves shows in how we walk, act, talk and react. Everybody knows respect when they see it because someone always is watching us. If we expect to be respected, we must give respect, and of course giving respect demands respect. When we have self-respect, we actually fully love ourselves. We love ourselves for who we are in the inside and not just because of what we do, what we look like, or what we are capable of. We are very proud of ourselves, if we respect ourselves our own selves. Self-respect is the foundation on which many other good values are developed such as honesty, confidence, sensitivity, and integrity. It begins with learning what we really want, need, feel and think. It is all self-mindfulness. There will be no hatred, anger, greed, jealousy, and many more bad attitudes that may ruin human relationships. Without self-respect, it is really difficult to have honesty, confidence and integrity. And if we don not have self-respect, there will be an emotions of anger, guilt, blame, shame or regret and of course we may feel that we are unworthy. Thus, it is very important for us to have self-respect, because the feeling of being respected is so great. And in order for us to develop and build self-respect, we have to evaluate, analyze and reflect upon these some of the important questions; do I respect my values?, my opinions?, my self-care?, my actions?, my intentions?, or my motivations?. These are some of the questions that we have to think of.

In connection to our seminary formation, it is really very necessary that we have to build and develop a community with respect. This is a very good weapon and tool in order for us to stop the chaos, conflicts, hatreds, anger, insensitivity, bullying that badly exist in the community. I do believe, one of the reasons why there is no development and imbalance in the community because of our lack of self-respect. We are not appreciative of our own capacities and uniqueness. We lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. We hurt each other’s feeling. We are becoming insensitive. There is no sense of propriety. We are becoming disobedient and ill-disciplined to our priest formators. We do not value and love one another. We do not respect each other. We tend to forget even to give respect or reverence to the Blessed Sacrament in the altar. All of these problems are caused by lack of self-respect. Beyond that, if we cannot respect ourselves, how can we respect others and how can others respect us? Thus, it is a great call and invitation to all of us that we have to live a life with respect in this community. We have to respect ourselves, our brother seminarians, our personnel, our teachers and priest formatores as well. We have to build and maintain an atmosphere of valuing, caring and loving with one another. We have to show and feel to one another that we are valued, respected and worthy in the community. It is really a great feeling of being respected.

            

Parminedes a Greek philosopher once said in his philosophy that, “All things are seemingly changing.”         He is trying to prove that all things are just seemingly changing because what is “is”. He believes that things remain as what they are and the only thing that is changing is no other than ourselves- we, human beings as subjects- in the way we perceive things not in the things as they are.

We, human beings are aware that our experiences serve as our gateways to the wider world that surrounds us. They enable us to link with others. They make also us conscious about the presence and the being of things around us so that we can have the true grasp of what we called world. The important thing about our experiences is that, they are lifting us up out from our narrow perspective by showing us new horizon of ideas which is wider. If we are going to put it in our human estate, our maturity can’t only be depicted on our age, but by the number of experiences we have gained and treasured within ourselves. Age increases every year but experience can increase every seconds. Generally, our experience gives us the knowledge of everything around us that somehow gives the view of what really life is and makes us understand who we really are and the world around us.

I would like to use my experience of the world (world outside the seminary) before I entered the seminary and my view of it after having 4 years of formation inside the seminary as my example regarding on what Parminedes’ philosophy. When I was still living my life outside the seminary, the picture of the world for me is: the government is full of corruption, there were an increasing number of abortions, and young people are getting married earlier. This was the picture of the world for me before I entered the seminary. But even until now that I’m already in my 4 years of my formation inside the seminary, the world outside it just the same, there is still corruption in the government, increasing cases of abortion, and many teenagers are getting married earlier. But why is it that there is an unusual feeling within me that triggers my person about the realities of the society right now? It is a feeling that I didn’t have or experience before. Eventhough I witnessed also the same happenings in the society. It is simply because of my experiences inside the seminary, which molded me and taught to become more understanding in every situation happening in the society. My seminary formation taught me about the facts of life and how to handle them so that it won’t be hard for me. My seminary formation helped me to understand that corruption is bad. For it promotes selfishness, greed, stealing and violence. My seminary formation taught me that abortion is a crime. For it kills the unborn in the womb of a mother. My seminary formation taught me that early marriage could only make teenagers to suffer because of the unpreparedness of the teenage couple. The world now outside the seminary is still the same. Having those issues I mentioned, it is still the world I left 4 years from now when I entered the seminary. It is still the same. The only thing that changed was my perspective of it, because of my experience in the way I perceive things now. It is because of our experiences why we see things in different views.

 This is what Prminedes is trying to point out about his idea of “things are just seemingly changing”. That things as themselves don’t change. But it is we, who are subjects of these things are changing for them, not them for us. That’s why in aiming to change the world, we shouldn’t wait for the world to change for us, but we should start it within ourselves, because we are the change.